Short jokes about our, about female ...

Only here and now you can relax and smile a little. For you, short jokes about women, a selection of the most funny pictures of jokes about our always beautiful, intelligent and resourceful.

How to determine whether you need to lose weight?

If a man can carry you in his arms to bed, ... you are in shape ...

If not - change the figs that you reach for a normal guy!

Good guys like good mushrooms, always hiding. On the surface, only toadstools and toadstools.
Do you like well-groomed women ??? SO KEEP !!!

Men! And let's you will wash, clean, iron ... and we WANT you !!!
Honey, do you visit my page so often that I can't understand: are you my husband's lover or my lover's wife ???

It is good to be a caterpillar: you eat, you eat, you eat ...

Then you wrap yourself up: sleep, sleep, sleep ...

Wake up - beautiful !!!

No wonder that a wedding ring is worn on the finger from which blood is taken all their life.
Went to get glasses - girlfriends came for coffee.
We do not drink. We disinfect spiritual wounds.

- Sir, I have a bed bed - go to oppress!
I'm not jealous of him ... clever from me will not go away, but I do not hold a fool.

I like my salary, I like my job, I like my man, I like my country ...

For those who do not understand - this is meditation.

Here I look at him ... and I think: nevertheless, he ... no - no, yes, and he sips from the puddle with the footprints of the hoof ...

And why everyone invites me to a restaurant or a sauna? Do they think I'm hungry and dirty?

Yesterday in the pool I picked up some infection ... This morning ... I barely kicked out of the apartment.

A beautiful, intelligent, generous, kind, gentle, non-drinker, not walking man ... you just want to see.

Wife to husband: - Do you remember, went fishing?

- Well, I remember, why?

- So, your pike called and said - she has caviar from you.

I come home, and there is so much work there: the sofa is not laid, the TV is not watched, the Internet is not covered…

Here, the frog princess lived for herself, she didn’t grieve ... But no, Ivan Tsarevich appeared, and it began - pies, carpets, weaving carpets, dance before the guests ... and also comfort? him! Called, the fairy tale has gone!

Before you diagnose your depression and low self-esteem, make sure that you are not surrounded by idiots.

There are two friends:

- Mash, are you pregnant again?

- Yes.

- From whom???

- Yes, her ex-husband came to apologize for leaving me alone with three children.

Politeness has become such a rarity that some take it for flirting.

She wrote on the fridge - TOMORROW DROP THEM! Every morning I read and think: WELL, THAT TOMORROW, AND NOT TODAY !!!

Make-up, manicure, hair removal. Eh! And in childhood, to become beautiful, it was enough to put a bow on your head !!!

Trust is when you are told: - “You know, he walks with you.” And you answer: “Let him walk ... He is warmly dressed ...”

How did yesterday's quarrel with your wife end? - She crawled to my lap. -And what did you say? - Get out from under the bed, dork! ...

So what if the chest is small, but the beads lie flat ...

Nothing invigorates as much in the morning as the realization that you overslept.

So what if I eat a lot of sweet! ... And this does not mean that I will be fat ... I will be sweetie!

The task of the wife - to spend so much that he lacked a mistress!

You WANT to spend an unforgettable NIGHT with a few CRUNCHES ... then EAT a BREAD IN BEDDING ...

She came up with: I would write the word “diet” on a piece of paper, put it on a chair and sit on it ...

Bought crayon from cockroaches! Now in my head, quietly and calmly ... obviously sit, draw ...

Do you think it is easier to drive a man than a car?

Here the right to freebie can not buy.

It is necessary to drive a man on all the rules, to feel the grip.

He does not have a steering wheel, the brakes are weak, but the front end is constantly shifting to the left! Especially when the tank is full ...

Calories are such petty dirty dogs who come at night and suture your clothes!

What are the parameters invented by men for women 90-60-90 ??! Let us set the parameters for them and do what you want: chew carrots, sit on yeast, dunk something in Rastishka ...

Sometimes you look at men for whom you have previously felt sympathy, and involuntarily you begin to doubt your adequacy ...,

I came home at 4 am ... the husband opened the door, and immediately the question "What came ???" I was confused and answered "Have breakfast" ...

Women never grow old - men’s eyesight deteriorates!

If a man is constantly looking for flaws in you, you DO NOT need to change anything in yourself. It is necessary to CHANGE a man and you again - BEAUTY, UMNITSA and TASTY PREPARING ...

Watch the video: Delanie Fischer - Dirty Talk Stand-up comedy (January 2020).